Bad News Tornado Inbound (Updates)

So I’m back home again with a lot of updates!

My sister: So I went a little early to stay with my sister before her surgery. It wasn’t a pleasant stay as her house smelled like dog and… a recreational smell, if you will that, I can only compare to skunk ass (and it gives me horrible cough fits and headaches and I want nothing to do with it ever.) But I tolerated ¬†everything during my stay even though I didn’t approve of anything that was going on in her house. Friday came and we were up incredibly early (5:30am to be exact) and I got her up to the hospital. They took her in almost right away to get her x-rays done so they could find the location of the stone. After almost an hour I get a phone call at the front desk from my sister’s nurse who told me they were doing a CT Scan as the x-rays weren’t showing the stone. So I sit for another almost 20 minutes until a nurse came to get me and take me back to sit with my sister while they got the medication started for the surgery. As soon as I got to the back my sister says “Well, I passed the stone on my own, the nurse is coming in now to remove my IV and we’re going home” At first I thought they may have started the medicine already and she was just being crazy, but that wasn’t the case, the nurse came in and took her IV out and gave her back her clothes and such.
I’m rather relieved that my sister didn’t need the surgery and that she’s now feeling a lot better. I just hope that she can manage to find a way to avoid getting another kidney stone in the near future.

My grandma: So the surgery was a success… at first. However on the 10th my aunt updated me saying that my grandma’s leg had swollen up again and is infected. My grandma hasn’t tried to get up since having her surgery like she was before (she has Alzheimer’s and she’s pretty far in with it as well, to the point where she hardly knows her own name from my understanding) her peacefulness, while good for her swollen leg, may not actually be a good thing. The doctor seems to think she has¬†an aggressive form of large cell Non Hodgkin Lymphoma, if that’s the case they will be treating it with chemo as they have been with the Polycythemia that I just learned my grandma has.
Right now, nobody really knows what to expect in the coming weeks for my grandma. I just hope I can hear some form of news soon so I know whether to breathe a sigh of relief or to prepare myself for rough news.

My grandpa: I haven’t gotten any updates on him other than he’s still in the hospital and that he’s being scanned for lung cancer. I think out of everyone I’ve been worrying about, he’s probably the one that’s been bothering me the most. For the record, if he does have cancer I can’t say I’m surprised, he worked for a steel mill for the majority of his life and has asbestos in his lungs. Knowing that doesn’t make this any less difficult. Of all my family, my grandpa is the person I love the most (That’s not to say I don’t love the rest of the family, I just… I’m a Grandpa’s Girl is all) if he passes… it’s going to be the hardest hit to me yet. I’m trying to mentally prepare myself if things do go south… but I’m afraid no amount of mental preparation will manage to get me through this unharmed. I know that nobody can live forever, but I just hoped my grandpa would have been around to see my kids someday but I know this wish is near impossible at this point.

I know some of you are probably worried about me at this point. And I won’t lie to you all, I have been having a very rough time. Depression has me staying up later and then staying in bed longer when I finally do manage to silence my thoughts and fall asleep. My room mates have to remind me to eat otherwise I won’t because I don’t feel hungry. And to top it all off I’m still pretty sick and still don’t have medicine to deal with the cold. I ordered some organic medicine to give a shot (it’s an Elderberry Syrup) and while it says it’s been delivered to my house, I still haven’t gotten it DX
I know I could start taking my Zoloft at any point (I still have 2 months worth) but I don’t want to have to resort to that just yet, I guess because I know I’ll really need them if something bad happens.
I will be okay though, I just need time. I’m going to try to get my sleep schedule back to something reasonable (with the help of my good friend Melatonin) Once I get things straightened out I will start doing live streams again.
I’ve been doing some work on commissions to try to help me get my mind off things, but I have to work in little steps with frequent breaks to play some form of video game (one that will actually require me to think, unfortunately right now a silent mind doesn’t stay silent for long and the monsters start to spark bad ideas up there and well… we don’t want that… their ideas are rather self destructive and I don’t need that negativity in my life)

Like I said, things are rough and a little scary, but I’ll pull through. I have to carry on.

Thank you guys again for being so patient with me at this time. I know all of the above isn’t what most people want to hear, and I know some people where really looking forward to some good news (as was I) but things are what they are and I just have to try to hold on for the ride.

Well, I better attempt to make sleep. I’m not at all tired but I’m sure that can easily be fixed with a little white pill and a warm shower. Goodnight everyone.

Love and Hugs,

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